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lyrics

When I was eighteen, I said what wasn’t for me, because of your habits, I’m cautious. Now I’m more anxious, sleepless. At twenty-three, there’s more that I can see. I have guilty blood on guilty hands. And darkened eyes, my restless mind. I don’t always have the courage to say I love you. I get scared I’ll fuck it up. If it’s not you or me, then it must be me, and I was wrong when I was eighteen. It’s different now at twenty-three. A xanax and a shower, I’ll feel better in an hour. I am a resource: a limited thing. Sometimes, just a paycheck, a song at a Christmas party. But sometimes I’m more. I move with freedom and purpose. I mask my tired eyes. I talk to every stranger I meet. I see the light in every place. For a while I run away. Again, like a child, I love everyone I know, and everything is new. I love everyone I miss. I only miss what I remember. I remember what I want to, because when I get back it’s all waiting for me and the freedom and purpose are as far away as they ever were. It’s always the truth this time. (Shay)

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from Reasons to Leave, released August 1, 2014

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Eli Whitney & The Sound Machine New York

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